How could I escape from the self when it is so overpowering? Driven by money and power — the opportunity to have them all is the most essential thing in my life. So why should I want to escape from the self when the self is supposed to be so comfortable? That comfort is not sustainable. It is a worrying situation and the source of my internal conflict and sporadic outburst. The desire to escape from the self under strenuous conditions is complicated. If I escape, what do I do with my soul, my possessions? How will I exercise my power? Whom will I control? What will happen to me? How will I live again? My outburst is the individual emotional reaction to the situation of being trapped within me. I do not want to be that me. I constantly attempt to escape this iron cage, however, realizing I am better served within it. This spiralling existence, confusing as it may, is manifested in the emotions I show in periodic outbursts.
